Tell me, what are your thoughts on girl movies? You know the ones with unrealistic fairy tales that sweep you off of your feet, grip your heart, jerk your tears from your pretty little eyes like Mickey Mouse in that Fantasia scene where he is conducting the brooms with buckets of water (yes this is where my mind goes when I think of those tear-jerking movies…uhg.that.evil.Mickey… wait, is that possible for Mickey to be evil? Okay, sorry back on track…).
You know what I’m talking about though, right? (If you don’t please just nod your head and keep reading regardless, I’m hoping to improve your imagination here). Well, I was “forced” into finally watching that movie “He’s Just Not That Into You” the other day… and let’s just say I walked away a little less than excited… or a not-so-much of a heart racing feeling (more like a heart thud). I realized it’s true, my friend was so right… I’m somewhat of a version of that main character. (She politely said the main character was an exaggerated version of me… but I disagree, I say just take out the word exaggerated and you hit the nail on the head). While yes, all girls have these moments of “maybe my phone isn’t getting his texts, I’ll just text him ten more times… just ten… just to be sure.” (don’t even lie to yourself girrrrl and say you haven’t done this, ya know you have).
I’m definitely the girl (as I learned in this movie) that thinks life is one big fairy tale, which may be why I hate watching girl movies, they get my hopes up (damn all you writers… you can just go to hell now thank you). See I was ruined from day 1. It dates all the way back to Cinderella. Ha. I actually wanted to be proposed to with a glass slipper (no exaggeration). While my dreams have changed about Prince Charming, it partly killed me to watch this movie because I do truly want to love with everything inside of me, I don’t want to play the game, I never have wanted to play the game, it’s stupid. What’s wrong with being honest and open? (Guys feel free to interject your objections at this point). I’ve gone back and forth in my head about this and you see part of me says, “change. stop giving everything you have because you’ll run out of everything eventually… make them earn it, give a little teaser to your personality, that’s it. that’s all they deserve. they don’t appreciate anything anyway.” But then, I think about it and that just wouldn’t make me happy (yes, I do it all for selfish reasons). Oddly enough, I actually enjoy giving, doing, making, creating, loving, sharing (any more -ing’s I’m missing?)… Basically, I get a high from making people happy. Whether I actually do or not, I enjoy the process of trying. So holding this back in any relationship, friend or more, just leaves me empty.
So help me out here… Letting my walls down for a moment. I always will have that hopeless romantic stuck down deep inside and yeah maybe I’m still hanging onto the idea that some guy will see that in me and cling to it like every guy before said I wouldn’t find. Maybe I’m waiting for the day that the guy appreciates my desire to please people, understands it, and admires it. Maybe my dreams of a fairy tale ending will never completely go away. And maybe I know all of this sounds absolutely silly (and maybe a tad bit ridiculous) when I say it out loud, but am I really the only person that has a spec of hope similar to anything like this? Every girl wants to be the exception, every girl deserves to be an exception… not just the rule. But that’s just a thought.