It’s an Earthquake… no… not quite…

Today is a slightly grumpy day, which could be contributed to the fact that I was woken up for the second time by my creepy 60-something year-old neighbor again at 12am, 3am, and quarter ’till 7am (okay, that last time, I should have been up already… but maybe if I slept solid through the night, I would have been… just a thought.) You may be wondering why creepy-man neighbor is waking me up. Hm, maybe because creepy-man neighbor has been hitting the Viagra too hard. You may ask why I know this, well hold your horses with these questions, because I’m about to clue you in.

A couple of weeks ago I had an extremely tough couple of days and just wanted to go to sleep early and yes, it was only 9pm, but I deserved an early night. With my headphones in I started to drift off to sleep when I heard really strange voices. At first I thought it was my roommate watching something on tv (she’s usually extremely quiet, so I wasn’t going to complain if that’s all it was.) However, the voices got louder and I couldn’t drown them out with the music in my ears. So I popped my headphones out and listened for a minute, my windows were open, so it could very well have been the neighbors downstairs that hang out on their balcony a lot (still wasn’t going to complain if this were the case either, they’re cool neighbors.) But then, I couldn’t decipher what I was hearing, if it was arguing, crying, or laughter… so I sat up and put my glasses on (because if I can’t see… I usually can’t hear as well, don’t question my quirks… I swear vision is connected to hearing.) That’s when I see my heavy-ass wall mirror shaking. I then notice my picture frames are equally shaking… first thought: earthquake? No… no… it cannot be my second thought… ewww… yes, why yes it certainly is the second thought.

I must say, at first I was like “good for you old man, you got a pretty wife… good for you.” But then I heard the ENTIRE conversation, and yes I said conversation… because there was an actual conversation that took place. Turns out… creepy-man neighbor (and this is why I call him creepy-man) took some young 20-something home from a bar while his wife was out-of-town. Evidently, she’s a Filipino, but American born. She does not speak any foreign language, although she has a really fake accent (is that hot or something?). She just finished college, like just finished college… yet she didn’t sound like the brightest crayon in the box (and yes that is me judging… I did say I was slightly grumpy.) She giggles obnoxiously and he talks a mile a minute (he sounded like a 5-year-old that just met Mickey Mouse for the first time.)

Evidently, they were drunk watching the hockey game at a bar downtown and he started talking to her and she liked his passion for hockey? So tip to you guys out there looking for a young 20-something… hockey is the way in… literally… ew. Bad joke.

Anyway, that first time was more than enough for me to be creeped out by him. Between my mirror almost breaking and fears of meeting creepy-man neighbor’s wrestle-partner in my bedroom with sounds of my wall breaking in by bed force, I’d say it was a one-time thing, I hoped.

Nope. This morning… 12am… 3am… AND freaking, quarter ’till 7am… my dreams of sugar-plums and other sweet things were offended by the disruptive wall banging and loud vocals. I swear… they should consider video, sounds like they’re Internet-ready. Bleh. Gross. Yes… I cannot believe I just said that either.

What do I do??

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