This has by far been one of the worst weeks… thank you Hell for rising on the days leading up to Friday the 13th (and no, I am not normally that superstitious). I have literally not made eye contact with anyone since possibly 8am Monday. Ohhh thank you Year-End reporting for making me so extremely kind to those who are stuck having to interact with me. However, I took a break to vent to my darling friend at lunch, pretty lady who shall remain nameless. I tell ya, she may be the reason i’m currently still sane.
Warning: we are not that sane. Read at your own risk:
Pretty lady: welllll I am doing research on Rehoboth vacation rentals for your b-day
just fyi 🙂
me: wooty woooo! im ready for that vacay thats fo sho
Pretty lady: oh man me too hahah
me: Beach house in the fall will be so nice! sweatshirts!
Pretty lady: I KNOW! khakis and sweat shirts hahah
Pretty lady: *clambakes
I was like uhm? slambakes? is that a drug reference
Pretty lady: HAHA
knowing me I would think it is
me: hahaha i definitely thought it was
i was like uhm no idea but ok? ill do whatever pretty lady does
shes a smart girl
Pretty lady: hahahaha
no you should question me when I start saying slambake
also you have to realize I will now be using it as a word
me: Gosh I hope you will! how might we use this new word we’ve discovered? “That’s such a slambake uhg i cant believe you went there!” or “THAT”S SO SLAMBAKE!! AWESOME!!”
Pretty lady: SO SLAMBAKE
Pretty lady: I love it
me: hows your wed, anything hump-tastic?
hah… sorry i am trying to be humorous
im failing quite terribly
crash and burnnnnn
slash and burrnnnn
Pretty lady: HAHAHAHHA
weeelllll it was hump-tastic alright
me: that was the crash sound
hahaha well that doesnt sound bad
you know it’s 1 week until you’re a quarter of a century
you ready for that step?
Pretty lady: I dunno…
Pretty lady: So Mr. Manly Man (or triple M for short) asked if he could cook me dinner for the night of my b-day
since he will be gone that weekend and it’s girls weekend
Pretty lady: cute right?!
me: UHM YESSS! that’s not even a question! OF COURSE THAT”S FN CUTE
Pretty lady: I was like um of course you can you beautiful man!!!!
me: SO cute!
Pretty lady: hahaha
he’s trying to woo me I like it
me: you can sit out on the balcony and stare into each others eyes in the moon light
Pretty lady: hahahahah! sawwwooon
me: let that manly man woo the britches off of you
Pretty lady: HAHAHAH! omg
Pretty lady: that quote needs to be written down
me: I just choked on my smoothie when i read that
Pretty lady: let that manly man woo the britches off of you hahahha
me: wooing is happening
under the moonlight
Pretty lady: hahaha!
me: please feed him
or let him feed you
like a bird
Pretty lady: hahaha I’ll kneel on the ground and act like a baby bird
me: omgosh ive lost it lol
Pretty lady: and he’ll say “if you’re a bird I’m a bird”
Pretty lady: and it will be so romantic
me: OMGOSH PLEASE
Pretty lady: SOOOOO SLAMBAKE
me: So Slambake!!
Pretty lady: hahaha you are cracking me up
me: OMGosh you possibly were the first person to make me laugh today and what a laugh this is
Pretty lady: hahahaha I really hope it’s as awesome as we are imagining it right now
my face hurts from trying to hold the laughing in
me: HAHAHA mine toooo
I did warn you we weren’t sane… yes, these are pretty typical conversations when one of us is on the edge of losing their mind… and yes we realize that we are most likely the only two people in this universe that find our conversations that hilarious (I’ve mentioned before I laugh at my own jokes, right?)… eh it happens, don’t judge.
I also have Mama T to thank for a smile-cracker shortly after this lightened mood. She forced my brother to hand-deliver the below: